Punchlines to some of my favorite jokes: Part III

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The next sequel to Part I and Part II.

“Over here, on your swing.”

“One half-brother and one half-sister.”

“Because it looks more like a rhinoceros than anything we’ve seen so far.”

“God, I wish I had your willpower.”

“The Baptist says, ‘I know, and I would have thought a lot more of Him if he hadn’t.’”

“No, arthritis.”

“When you’re dead, you don’t wish that you were married.”

“Who says it’s dark?”

“Don’t change the subject!”

“It’s the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the basses are loaded.”

“Give me a wine glass and fill it with water.”

“It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.”

“I don’t think my python really cares.”

“One, if nobody’s watching.”

“Everyone is happy when the case is closed.”

“Well, alright, as long as you don’t get into the habit.”

“Oh, so you’re single.”

“They keep throwing up their hands.”

“They sit and wait for the swelling to go down.”

“I came here to feed the alligator.”

“So Ole drove to Duluth.”

“My wife.”

“Yes, I’ve been divorced three times.”

“The doctor says, ‘9…8…7…’”

Check here for Part IV.