Punchlines to some of my favorite jokes: Part IV

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The next sequel to Part I and Part II and Part III.

“Helllloo! I’ve got Windows!”

“How does that compare with the same period last year?”

“…and God created man.”

“He got in trouble with his peers.”

“The lions were eating up the prophets.”

“Either way, you get your dog back.”

“In the Library of Congress you can’t bend the pages forward.”

“One, you’re 59 years old, and two, you’re the pastor!”

“That’s the Seal of Approval.”

“She was having contractions.”

“Who says I’m not?”

“It says ‘celebrate’!”

“They don’t have to catch anything to be happy.”

“Period.”

“Hey Rose, what is the name of our memory doctor?”

“You’re standing on my oxygen tube!”

“I’d been a free man today.”

“If it’s a quarter pounder, it’s a McDonald.”

“Kids won’t eat broccoli.”

“Of course, where do you think musicians come from?”

“Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute. We just got off Route 119.”

“First of all, I can tell you’re not eating right.”

“I’m here for a urine test.”

“Beats the hell out of ham, doesn’t it?”

“One for January, one for February…”

“Well, it was me first day with the hook.”

“No, just up to my chin.”

Check here for Part V.