Punchlines to some of my favorite jokes: Part V

Image from zazzle.com

“Deep, too!”

“Wrecked ’em? Durn near killed ’em!”

“…But ya screw one goat….”

“I’ve never had five bucks before!”

“I’m westing!”

“They gave him the cold shoulder.”

“The TWIST, Dad! It’s called the TWIST!”

“Arrrrrrrggggh! It’s driving me nuts!”

“Just bring it back tomorrow….that’s what everyone else does.”

“Scoutmaster says you’re going to die.”

“Whassamatta, did I hurt you baby?”

“Naah, I’m just not a very good conductor.”

“It’s made by Johnson & Johnson.”

“I can’t do nothin’ but suck the chocolate off them anyways.”

“A brown Probe.”

“Don’t much matter….it’s just gonna be the two of us.”

“Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”

“He’s going to be all right.”

“Wow, that Superman is one mean drunk.”

“How do you think I rang the doorbell?”

“POSSE! I said POSSE!”

“Everybody.”

“So they can find their shirt pockets.”

“If I could walk that way, I wouldn’t need the talcum powder!”

“Maybe if you pet him, he’ll let you.”

“And the guy says, ‘What’s that noise?’”

“Close the door, I’m dressing!”

“Now look over there at the town clock tower.”

“I didn’t know how fast you could walk.”