Shoulda been a hit

I first heard this song on “Mork and Mindy” back in 1980. I laughed so hard at it, and wanted to hear it again right away. Gerry Marshall, the producer, should have let Robin Williams release it as a single. Woulda been huge, I tells ya, huge. A Desert Island Single, fer shure.

The song was written by playwright David Mamet and comedian Jonathan Katz. Bobby Bare recorded it for a CD that is now out of print, and that’s the only recorded version of it that I know of. “We tried to write a parody of a country song,” Katz once commented, “but we did it too well.”

This heart is closed
For alterations
And the management
Extends apologies

I’m sorry if I’ve inconvenienced you
I’ll make it right before I’m through
But for a little while,
Just bear with me

This heart is closed
For alterations
So please excuse
The rubble and debris

You see, I’ve reached a few decisions
And I’ve made a few revisions
That I think will make
A new man out of me

(Robin sings a verse in Orkan, then…)

I see that I’ve been taking out on you
The changes that you put me through
You’re gonna see
Some changes made of me

This heart is closed
For alterations
This heart is closed
For alterations

Huge, I tells ya, huge.