C’mon. Get real. This would never work.

Image from osatelegraph.org

A last-ditch desperate effort, a grand gesture, a Hail Mary pass, a demonstration to win her heart again and woo her back into your life is nothing more than a last-ditch desperate effort.

Whaaaaaat?! Romantic high-school movies lied to me all these years?! Yes, I’m afraid so. Chances are Ferris Bueller didn’t graduate with the rest of his class, either, and Spicoli probably didn’t graduate at all. Sorry to harsh your mellow.

“Can you imagine dumping a guy and then having him blast Peter Gabriel out on your lawn for a couple of hours? It’d be like, ‘Homeboy, I’m sorry. Really. Truly. But no.’ And did he rewind the tape every time the song ended, or did he make a tape that was just Peter Gabriel over and over again?” – Christine Friar

She will remember forever that he was so option-less and desperate he disturbed the whole neighborhood, just to beg her to take him back. So will the neighborhood.

Kickboxing, Lloyd. Sport of the future. Put the boombox down.