I really, really do. They’re an unnecessary time waster, they interrupt momentum that could be directed toward more pressing tasks, there are many more innovative methods these days for communicating information, and the people who actually LIKE the meetings do everything they can to pad them out to the inconvenience of others.
I know I’m not alone in this. I’m sure there are many others in my office who also dislike meetings. I’m thinking of identifying these people and scheduling a time where we can all sit down together and share our thoughts and feelings. I’m considering reserving a conference room for this, and sending out emails to all concerned letting them know about this event. I’ll create an agenda that lists all the aspects we want to discuss about our aversion to meetings. We’ll ask someone to write down everything that is said, and later send these notes out to all participants to review in advance of an additional gathering. Additions or subtractions to this list of concerns will be submitted ahead of time so that the group can decide to accept or deny them. Maybe there’s even a book available that lists out rules of order that we can follow.
“Okay, how quickly can we convene a meeting of the Ad Hoc Fire Exit Committee?”
“Um… there doesn’t seem to be a meeting room available until next Thursday.”
“Well, can we make sure to have a quorum present?”
“Not unless we include the note-taker as a voting member.”
“Done. And we need to make sure that any action we may take is not construed as a criticism of our valued fire-fighting professionals.”
“We can ask the Fire Fighters Union to send a representative, but I believe the members of their steering committee are all on vacation.”
“Well, then, I guess we’ll just have to wait. Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?”
Think of how many pics we’ve seen of Dufus eating McDonalds hamburgers and KFC chicken. At first I thought it was nothing but a PR stunt. “See! I’m just like you! I eat fast food on my private jet – just like you!”
Turns out it’s not just a stunt. This supposed “billionaire restauranteur” actually eats nothing but fast food. So the question is: why?
Well, he can pop into a Mickey D’s or KFC, and no one would possibly know he was coming. He’s worried about being poisoned.
But wait a minute. Poison? Who the hell still poisons someone in the 21st century?
Behold the new slogan for the Republicans in the US House of Representatives: “BETTER OFF NOW.”
Don’t laugh; they just made a spelling error.
It should be “BUGGER OFF NOW.”
My dad had a saying, back in the day. If my brother or I messed something up, and we tried to explain it to him by saying, “Well, I didn’t think it would (fill in the blank),” he would reply, “That’s right: you didn’t think!”
It should be obvious to everyone now that the right wing doesn’t think things through.
When you treat black athletes kneeling as “disrespectful” to America, but do or say nothing about confederate flags and Nazi flags being waved alongside the US flag…
When you yell “All Lives Matter!”, but shrug and run away when refugee children need help…
When you treat Muslims and immigrants as some sort of super-danger, but do nothing when white non-Muslim native-born men are slaughtering innocent people in churches, movie theaters, and schools…
When the same evangelicals who supported the disastrous Iraq War “because it’s the End Times” are now celebrating the current government regime…
When you demand “respect,” but vote for the most disrespectful President in American history…
Did you think people weren’t going to notice the inconsistencies, contradictions, and hypocrisy? Did you think people were going to be OK with the disparity and double standards? Did you think we should just show you “civility,” after you have rejected it for so long?
That’s right: you didn’t think.
(With acknowledgment to blogger ck4829.)