Slightly tasteless joke of the day.

A man comes home from work early one afternoon, and to his surprise, finds his wife in bed with another man. To retain his honor he grabs two pistols from above the mantel and tells the man, “If you want my wife that much, you need to be willing to die for her. I challenge you to a duel.”

The other man accepts the challenge. They go into another room and close the door. Then the husband whispers to the other man:

“Actually, nobody needs to get hurt. Let’s shoot into the air, and pretend we’re both dead. We’ll see who my wife runs to first, and find out which one of us she loves more.”

So they both shoot into the air and lay down on the floor. The wife bursts into the room, sees the men lying on the floor, and shouts over her shoulder:

“Honey, you can come out now – they’re both dead!”

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Quote of the day, from Todd at “Goodreads”

History doesn’t repeat itself, but sometimes it rhymes with “brotherlucker.”


A psychological paradox

A psychological paradox: that those without guns do not live in fear, while those with guns do. …


In honor of World Poetry Day, March 21

Roses are red
Burritos are yummy
If you voted for Trump
Then you’re just a big dummy

Roses are red
Like burgundy wine
He may be YOUR President
But he sure isn’t MINE

Roses are red
So is Superman’s cape
I wonder how long
Till we see the pee tape?

Roses are red
Like a red rubber ball
And Mexico says
They won’t pay for the wall

Roses are red
Like fast sporty cars
I can’t wait to see
His ass behind bars

Roses are red
So they’re easy to find
He can’t keep his lips
Off of Putin’s behind

Roses are red
Like a nasty infection
Now Stormy has photos
Of his tiny erection

Roses are red
Puppies are cute
He paid off a hooker
And Christians are mute

Roses are red
Tambourines jingle
And his trophy wife
Wishes she was still single

Roses are red
Like Putin, his crony
And that whole election
Was phony baloney

Roses are red
Like a big fire truck
And all of his followers
Are scary AF

Roses are red
They require lots of water
It’s creepy as hell
That he’s hot for his daughter

Roses are red
Like cherries with pits
We can’t see his taxes
But we’ve seen his wife’s tits

Roses are red
Like a circus balloon
I hope Robert Mueller
Can wrap this up soon

Roses are red
Like the stuff in our veins
I really do miss
A President with brains


Evangelical rant.

There are Evangelical Christians who would have happily trotted off with the devil in the desert.

“But his strong leadership is what’s important. I mean, he’s Satan. We know he’s not a choirboy.

Plus, Mr. Satan promised us he wouldn’t kill the babies until AFTER they’re born.”


Brilliant.

From the brilliant Adam Dawson:

“Universal background checks would be a logistical nightmare.”

Then let it be a logistical nightmare.

At this point the argument seems to be: it it is difficult, or doesn’t work at a rate of 100%, it’s just too much of a cross for gun owners to carry around.

I’m done worrying about whether or not gun owners are inconvenienced in their hobby. That is the least of my concerns.


A solution so simple, I’m surprised no one has done it already.

Let’s consider states assessing a tax on military-style weapons with automatic or semi-automatic settings. If we can’t get the neutered, NRA-owned Congress to do the right thing and ban them, let’s pressure states to tax them based on the costs of medical needs for victims of mass shootings.

Sure, you could buy an AR-15 for $400, but you would also pay an ANNUAL tax of $10,000 to cover medical bills for victims.

See? Nobody is banning your precious. Nobody is infringing your right to own your precious. You just have to pay for the cleanup, like a responsible gun owner should.

Problem solved. Next problem.