Rosacea and tattoos

Image from rubylane.com

Quick confession: occasionally I experience a flare-up of rosacea. I’ve become adept at identifying and avoiding triggers. Flare-ups last only a couple of days and then fade away, but during those couple of days I look like I have moderate facial sunburn.

Needless to say, I become self-conscious at those times. I don’t care to draw much attention to myself under normal circumstances, and even less so when I look like Mr. Tomato Head. In particular I avoid social situations where I might engage with attractive women.

The dude wasn’t quite this bad, but close.
Image from listabuzz.com

Until the other day.

I was dining at a bar and grill in my small town, when this absolutely drop-dead gorgeous woman walked in. This is something not commonly seen in outstate Minnesota. All eyes turned to look at her.. and at the dude she was with. Who had tattoos all over his face. All. Over. His. Face.

This is also something not commonly seen in outstate Minnesota. At least one patron wondered aloud if the circus was in town.

“Love is blind,” as the saying goes, and there’s no accounting for taste. Maybe he’s just the dreamiest guy deep down inside, and no one can see it in him but her. Maybe she fell in love with him on-line. Maybe she owes him money. Maybe she lost a bet. Maybe this was a cruel sorority prank. I don’t know.

But I’ll tell you one thing: I sure as hell ain’t gonna worry about rosacea anymore.

Overheard

Image from borderchallenge.net

(Scene: a couple on a date.)

Her: “I think it’s time we, you know, have ‘that chemistry conversation’.”

Him: “Okay.. uh.. test tubes, beakers, flasks, Bunsen burners, microscopes, centrifuges, lab coats.. Am I getting close?”

Her: “No.“

The Rejection Letter

(Reprinted from The Harvard Lampoon Online.)

Image from iccaonline.com

Dear Brent,

It is with sincere regret that I must inform you that I cannot go out with you. Though dinner on Saturday sounds enticing, I am unable to accept your offer at this time.

You should know that this year I had a record number of people asking me out, and the pool was exceptionally strong. I was unable therefore to accommodate many qualified people. I am only one woman!

People asking me out this year came from all fifty states and thirty-seven foreign countries. They included a record number of underrepresented minorities, athletes of thirty-two NCAA-recognized sports, a Scripps National Spelling Bee Champion, and several downright hotties. This year, for the first time, I will go out with more women than men, truly an important moment in my history.

Thank you so much for your interest, and please let me know if you have any questions or concerns. Although I am unable to accommodate you at this time, I offer best wishes for your future success with the woman you eventually enter.

Sincerely,
Beth