Now that Thanksgiving is over –

I continue to hear and read comments from people talking about Trump. Saying things like: “She lost. Get over it. Suck it up, buttercup.” And: “Things can’t possibly go as bad as you think they will.” And: “He hasn’t even taken office yet. Won’t you just give him a chance?”

That last one is the one that sticks in my craw. This election has profoundly changed me. I’ve seen people’s true colors, I no longer suffer fools gladly, and I’ve forgotten the words to “Kum-ba-yah.” The “give him a chance” people have forgotten how horrifically they treated President Obama and his family for eight long years.

But I’m a reasonable man. I’d consider giving Clownstick a chance if one, only one conservative Republican came up to me and said something like the following:

“You know, we were really too hard on President Obama. We gave him a pounding that he or any other President never deserved. We whipped up people’s hostility about him being the first black President. We spread lies, claiming he planned to do things that he never even thought of doing. We agreed among ourselves to block everything he tried to do, and even boasted about it openly. The things he was able to do, we whittled and chipped away at so that it didn’t come close to what he intended. We insulted and demeaned his wife and daughters. We even told the world that he wasn’t even born in this country.

“We screwed up, and I am very sorry. I wish we hadn’t done those things. Obama was actually a very good President. In particular, I’d like to commend him for the following acts: (fill in blanks here).”

If just one conservative Republican would say these things to me, and sincerely mean them, I would just as sincerely consider lightening up on Trump and giving him the chance they denied Obama. That’s all it would take.

But, to quote the always wise Susie Derkins: 12-friends


Thursday night, an individual speaking under condition of anonymity alleged that President-Elect Donald J. Trump eats his own boogers.

Is it true? We don’t know. But apparently people are saying it. It is certainly worth investigating. If true, this sets a terrible example for American children and our allies around the world.

Won’t you please help spread the word about how Donald Trump eats his own boogers? Please share. Our fellow citizens deserve to know. Thank you, and God bless the United States of America.

Word to the herd.

I’ve been told by those who know these things that tonight, the night before Thanksgiving, is the busiest night of the year for bars, taverns, and nightclubs. If you’re hitting the town tonight please be mindful of this and be extra kind to your greeter, bartender, server, and bus help.

And as always – tomorrow, if you need to purchase anything – gas for the car, a coffee, some ingredient that was overlooked – please thank the person who serves you. We’re able to enjoy our holiday because they are working on theirs. It doesn’t have to be over the top; just say something like, “Thanks for working today. It’s making my day easier.”

Just my .02. Word to the herd.

Did we ever dodge a bullet this time.




Trump supporters, defined

Image from

Image from

My brother Mike just came up with the perfect description of Trump supporters:

“They act like they’ve been forced to hold back their bigoted opinions like a fart in an elevator. And now, Trump lets them let it all loose.”

And my response:

“Look, I been holdin’ this in for eight long years. And now – ya’ll better brace yerselves.”

Tomorrow, 11/8/16


Oh, the humanity




Don’t they get it?

White Americans think it’s inexcusable that black Americans are rioting, destroying property, threatening police officers, and looting from stores over police killings of black citizens.

After all, they say, you save that for when your team wins the Super Bowl.