Rosemary shortbread.

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My new role model.

Oh, to be this eloquent.

“What d’ye think of tha’, mister pajama- wearin’, basket-face, slipper-wieldin’, klype-tree-buckle, gather-up, blatin’-mob, bleetherin’ gomerol, jesse-oaf-lookin’ shtoner, nyilf-blookis-yon, milk-drinkin’, soy-face shil-pit mimmel, snivelin’, worm-eyed hootin’-bloch vyle-stoochin’ cali-preek-tatty?”

Compare and contrast

See if you can pick up the subtle stylistic differences.

“Wi’ A Hundred Pipers” by Steve McDonald.

“Hoots Mon (There’s A Moose Loose Aboot This Hoose)” by Bad Manners. As Eytan Mirsky once pointed out: “It’s SKA-tish.”

Slightly tasteless joke of the day – Tuesday edition

Old Angus MacKenzie steps into the local pub. He sits at the bar and orders a Newcastle. MacKenzie is looking so glum sitting there that the bartender moves over to him and asks, “Oi, Angus, what’s eating you?”

“Och, laddy,” MacKenzie replies as he pounds the top of the bar. “Ya remember this bar here? I built it meself, didn’t I?! I planed it by hand, I didn’t use one of them fancy electric sanders, NUUU! It took me a whole week and I nearly brrrroke me back! Boot, do they call me MacKenzie the Bar-Builder? NUUUU!”

MacKenzie takes another drink. Then he points and says, “Oot the window, ya see thet stown wool yahnder? I built it meself! I hauled all the rooks from the revver with a barrow! It took me two weeks and I nearly brrroke me back! Boot, do they call me MacKenzie the Wall-Maker? NUUUU!”

MacKenzie takes another drink, and then points and says, “Oot the front door, ya see that wooden pier out yonder? I built it meself! The hool thing, board by board! Boot, do they call me MacKenzie the Pier-Builder? NUUU!”

MacKenzie takes another drink, then looks around cautiously, and leans in toward the bartender. “Boot,” he whispers, “Ya fook ONE goat….!”

The Battle of the Kilt! Hoots mon!
High school senior in St Louis is told he can’t wear his formal kilt to the prom. He states that the principal told him the school wants to promote men “dressing like men.” Principal denies it, but at least one other student corroborates the story. There follows a significant turnout of support by the St Louis Scots community.
I believe that if they were discussing the traditional garb of some other nationality, there would have been all sorts of accommodation for this. And that’s as it should be. But I’d like to see this principal tell Sean Connery or Billy Connolly or Craig Ferguson that they aren’t “dressing like men.” Och, but wha’s fur ye won’t get by ye.

A Scot Across the Pond

It was a battle lasting just a few days in the St. Louis, USA, area, and it probably won’t go down in the annuls of Scottish history. But for the Scottish community in St. Louis, and the thousands of people who join with us throughout the year to celebrate the many profound connections between America and Scotland, it was an opportunity to stand for Scotland and to stand with a fellow Scot.

Many people from around the world have been following this skirmish, and many of them took action with e-mails and phone calls. Here’s a full summary of what happened.

On March 17, a student at Granite City High School, just outside St. Louis, USA, posted on his Facebook page that “I was denied wearing my kilt to prom because they want to teach the men to dress like men. That is what I was told. I’m very upset.”


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