For me, July is nothing but a big disappointment. All the songs tell us the living is easy, and these are those lazy-hazy-crazy days of summer. People have expectations of fun and fulfillment and enjoyment.
But historically with rare exceptions July hasn’t lived up to the billing. It’s a month of disappointed expectations, dashed hopes, and un-easy living. The anticipation far exceeds the actual event. Quite frankly, July sucks. Through a straw.
So it’s time for a change. Starting in 2014, I’m skipping July. In the spirit of Adam Savage from “Mythbusters,” I reject your reality and substitute my own. Starting next year, June will have 61 days. At the end of June 61st, August will begin as usual.
Independence Day will be celebrated on June 34th. Which means a few songs, like this one and this one, will require revision. And the Minnesota Twins will need to reprint the tickets for the All-Star Game at Target Field on June 45th. These are small adjustments to make, actually. Everyone dealt with Y2K pretty handily, so this should be a breeze.
I expect it’ll be like traveling through Arizona and other parts of the US that don’t recognize Daylight Savings Time. Instead of adjusting your wristwatch, though, you’ll have to adjust your calendar.
Yup. That’s it. Starting a year from now: no more July. Hope to see you at the 34th of June fireworks.