The Art Of Parody

“Little Douche Coupe”

Well, I’m not bragging, man, so don’t put me down
But everyone I know thinks I’m a real ass clown
When I get into my car, you know, I don’t even try
If I see you need a lift, I just wave bye-bye
It’s my little douche coupe
You don’t know what I got

Just a little douche coupe, man, as you can see
The stereo plays nothing but Kenny G
When I pull in front of you, man, I become a jerk
I drive super-duper slow to make you late for work
It’s my little douche coupe
You don’t know what I got

It’s got a combination clutch and four-on-the-floor
And late at night I rev the engine right by your front door
And if that ain’t enough to make you flip your lid
There’s one more thing, I got a big sub-woofer

I park in handicapped, though I walk just great
And I always blast my horn when picking up my date
And just in case you think that I’m a caring chump
Bumper sticker on the back says I’m voting for Trump
It’s my little douche coupe
You don’t know what I got


The Only Recipe For Ice Cubes You’ll Ever Need

Image from food.com

http://www.food.com/recipe/ice-cubes-420398

This is just plain brilliant. And someone actually posted it to food.com.

“I am publishing this recipe, because I am sure that there are other families who have members who don’t know how or have forgotten how to make ice when the ice tray is empty.”

“This recipe is horrible! Maybe I should have left them in longer than two minutes (the recipe doesn’t say how long to leave them in the freezer so I just kind of guessed) but mine came out all watery. I won’t be making these again.”

“I harvest my own free-range water, so the idea of putting it in a plastic tray and a commercially made electricity-wasting freezer disgusts me. I prefer nature’s method, waiting until the temperature outside drops below freezing.”

“I wanted to make your recipe but our well ran dry, so I didn’t have any water to make ice. Since I was having a party, I really had to come up with a clear liquid substitute so I would have ice on hand. A word of warning: when you make vodka cubes your BIL will hit a tree with his new car and your sister will never speak to you again.”