But I’m a reasonable man. I’d consider giving Clownstick a chance if one, only one conservative Republican came up to me and said something like the following:

“You know, we were really too hard on President Obama. We gave him a pounding that he or any other President never deserved. We whipped up people’s hostility about him being the first black President. We spread lies, claiming he planned to do things that he never even thought of doing. We agreed among ourselves to block everything he tried to do, and even boasted about it openly. The things he was able to do, we whittled and chipped away at so that it didn’t come close to what he intended. We insulted and demeaned his wife and daughters. We even told the world that he wasn’t even born in this country.

“We screwed up, and I am very sorry. I wish we hadn’t done those things. Obama was actually a very good President. In particular, I’d like to commend him for the following acts: (fill in blanks here).”

If just one conservative Republican would say these things to me, and sincerely mean them, I would just as sincerely consider lightening up on Trump and giving him the chance they denied Obama. That’s all it would take.

But, to quote the always wise Susie Derkins:

Won’t you please help spread the word about how Donald Trump eats his own boogers? Please share. Our fellow citizens deserve to know. Thank you, and God bless the United States of America.