“I love Canada. I’m very popular there, believe me. The people love me. They welcome me into their igloos. And we share glasses of maple syrup. It’s excellent. It’s the best. But, folks, they have a country full of foreigners right in the middle. They all speak French, you have no idea what they’re saying. Although I’m sure many of them are good people, I think they should build a wall around it, just until they know what the hell is going on. I look forward to meeting with their new President, Justin Bieber.”
You can go by foot.
You can go by cow.
Donald J. Trump, will you please go now!
You can go on skates.
You can go on skis.
You can go in a hat.
But please go.
I don’t care.
You can go by bike.
You can go by Trump Airlines if you like.
If you like you can go in an old blue shoe.
Just go, go, GO!
Please do, do, DO!
Donald J. Trump, I don’t care how.
Donald J. Trump, will you please GO NOW!
You can go by balloon……or zeppelin.
OR You can go by camel with a Muslim guide.
You can go by school bus……or jet.
I don’t care how you go.
Get a witches’ broom.
You can go with a……………..BOOM!
Donald, Donald, Donald!
Will you leave this room!
Donald J. Trump!
I don’t care HOW.
Donald J. Trump!
Will you please GO NOW!
I said GO and GO I prayed….
The time had come.
“This may be the year when we finally come face to face with ourselves; finally just lay back and say it—that we are really just a nation of 220 million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns, and no qualms at all about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable… Jesus! Where will it end? How low do you have to stoop in this country to be President?”
Check this out. Through my sources I was able to get a copy of a syllabus from a class at Trump University. These things are guarded like Fort Knox gold, so you can imagine how excited I am to take a look at this.
This is from a class called “International Business Policy 101.” Herewith is the entire class syllabus –
Day 1: Kiss Vladimir Putin’s left buttcheek
Day 2: Kiss Vladimir Putin’s right buttcheek
Day 3: Here’s your diploma
It struck me recently that this year’s Presidential race reminds me of a junior high student council election. One candidate was nominated as a prank because he sits in back of the classroom, calls people names, and throws spit balls.
The other was nominated because she’s a girl, she’s run several other times and, doggone it, it’s her turn.
Another candidate has been in student council since seventh grade. He has some great ideas about how to improve the school. But he was rejected, because he’s just a big nerd.
The current student council president is well-liked by almost everyone. He is endorsing the girl, because they’re in the same pep club together.
And one of the other candidates wants to lead prayer services three times each school day, and close half of the girls’ bathrooms. Everyone thinks he’s a weirdo.